on releasing and recapturing dreams
Sep. 10th, 2024 06:15 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
serpentinemalignFrom trying for bigger creative opportunities, I have been a lot more willing to invest money in my crafts.
but not just "productive" crafts. like, just hobbies as a whole.
it's worth it if it brings me some peace, but doubly so if I get any material returns on that investment.
Last week I picked up a gaming laptop on a very good sale. it will also be my "video editing and music production" laptop, and I'm waiting for it to arrive this week! My current laptop is showing its age when it comes to more complicated tasks, and gaming is pretty much impossible. I nearly fried it trying to play the Yakuza dragon engine games a few years ago lol. It barely runs djmax, which is still something! And I was hoping to get a steam deck to solve that problem. But then I found out djmax exclusively runs on windows and doesn't work with proton/Linux because it has horrible DRM. So I guess that accelerated my decision because I knew a steam deck was no longer an option, and I couldn't use my Linux pc to fuel my new obsession... and I needed more memory/processing power/hard drive space for my music production anyway...
I'm getting excited about the possibilities now, though. Like... actually getting to play FPS with a mouse and keyboard again, and not have to learn an entire new controller muscle memory for every single game (and also still be really really bad at shooting because controller FPS just doesn't make sense to me). I don't really want to be struggling with learning all that when I have limited time to game as it is, now I am a Grown Adult. I got stuck on like the third mission of GTAV when I tried to play it on ps4. It was excruciating.
All this made me think about how different my life was when I bought my current laptop. of course, it was before the pandemic, and I was still in university. At that time, portability and the bare minimum for work was all I prioritised. I was unconsciously stripping many joyful activities out of my life.
now I guess I am paying for that mistake, quite literally. but at the time, I suppose, I couldn't have known it was a mistake. And it's cool to understand more about my priorities than I could before. One positive of 4 years mostly alone with my thoughts in one place.
still. rip my wallet. it's a baked beans and pasta (though not at the same time!!!) kind of month :')
but not just "productive" crafts. like, just hobbies as a whole.
it's worth it if it brings me some peace, but doubly so if I get any material returns on that investment.
Last week I picked up a gaming laptop on a very good sale. it will also be my "video editing and music production" laptop, and I'm waiting for it to arrive this week! My current laptop is showing its age when it comes to more complicated tasks, and gaming is pretty much impossible. I nearly fried it trying to play the Yakuza dragon engine games a few years ago lol. It barely runs djmax, which is still something! And I was hoping to get a steam deck to solve that problem. But then I found out djmax exclusively runs on windows and doesn't work with proton/Linux because it has horrible DRM. So I guess that accelerated my decision because I knew a steam deck was no longer an option, and I couldn't use my Linux pc to fuel my new obsession... and I needed more memory/processing power/hard drive space for my music production anyway...
I'm getting excited about the possibilities now, though. Like... actually getting to play FPS with a mouse and keyboard again, and not have to learn an entire new controller muscle memory for every single game (and also still be really really bad at shooting because controller FPS just doesn't make sense to me). I don't really want to be struggling with learning all that when I have limited time to game as it is, now I am a Grown Adult. I got stuck on like the third mission of GTAV when I tried to play it on ps4. It was excruciating.
All this made me think about how different my life was when I bought my current laptop. of course, it was before the pandemic, and I was still in university. At that time, portability and the bare minimum for work was all I prioritised. I was unconsciously stripping many joyful activities out of my life.
now I guess I am paying for that mistake, quite literally. but at the time, I suppose, I couldn't have known it was a mistake. And it's cool to understand more about my priorities than I could before. One positive of 4 years mostly alone with my thoughts in one place.
still. rip my wallet. it's a baked beans and pasta (though not at the same time!!!) kind of month :')
