the executives are not functioning

[serpentinemalign]

I go through these irregular, but recurring periods of bad executive dysfunction. it is frankly incredible that I get anything done while this is going on. I actually started writing this post hours ago, but only a brief glimmer of "I need to log that this is happening" brought me back. my sleep gets fucked, my eating schedule gets fucked, the house gets fucked. and I feel barely human enough to socialise. my emotional stability is much lower and I wind up having episodes more frequently.

My brain feels like it is carrying weights everywhere. There are so many and they can literally be things as simple as, "you left your keyboard in the other room, so go get it." 4 weeks later... I never got it. Completing tasks feels like wading through molasses. Doing enjoyable things that I actually want becomes a Task, too. insurmountable.

I am trying to commit all this to paper but all I'm getting is sludge. Hopefully with rest things will clear up again.